My Brother's Brother
by kitty-kat12
Summary: Max struggles as she tries to make amends with her past and move on to her future....ma
1. Default Chapter

A/N: I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING BUT I'LL JUST SEE IF YOU GUYS LIKE IT. I'D LIKE SOME SUGGESTIONS. REVIEWS PLEASE.  
  
  
  
Max sat on top of the space needle, the wind blowing back her hair and stinging her eyes a little or was it because she was on the verge of tears?  
  
Love sucks. She remembered telling Alec that one time when they both sat here. It felt like a million years ago, when she was still selfish, thinking that she could save her soul by saving others.  
  
"I miss Alec." She thought. That didn't really surprise her anymore. She missed him. It was obvious. The thought hurt her a little.  
  
She royally screwed up this time. With Alec and Logan. She sighed as she remembered the moment it happened.  
  
Max was there standing in front of the door, wearing nothing but Alec's shirt, Logan staring at her curiously. And as if on cue, Alec walks out of the bedroom with nothing but his shorts on.  
  
Logan had looked so hurt then. He had just looked at her angrily and dejectedly before leaving without another word. To make everything worse, Max had turned around and blamed everything on Alec. She had yelled at him, swore and blamed him just to make herself feel better, just to make the guilt go away. Alec had left irritated and hurt.  
  
It made her feel even worse.  
  
Then two weeks later she found out that he was gone. She had gone over to his apartment to apologize and maybe salvage whatever was left of their so called relationship. It was empty. He had probably fenced everything he owned to get some cash for the road.  
  
Max wanted to cry. But instead she came here and sat. She had been staring down at Seattle for almost an hour now. She hated this place as much as she loved it. She wanted to leave but this was the only thing she could call home. OC and Sketchy were here and Logan. But Logan hated her now. And once, she had Alec as a reason to stay. He was here and he needed her to teach him the ways of the world. But he was gone now.  
  
Wherever he was, Max hoped he was okay.  
  
She stood up abruptly and dusted her pants. She looked down. It was a long way down.  
  
"Maybe, just maybe I'll jump." She thought. "Just to see how far it is and how much pain I can take." Max sighed. She was hurting. A lot. A little more pain wasn't about to kill her. Logan was her friend and she hurt him. And Alec. She didn't know what he was to her but he was pretty important because she cared. As much as she hated to admit it, she cared about him.  
  
Max took a deep breath and stepped forward, getting a little closer to the edge. "Soon, I'll see. I'll see how much I can take and maybe when I fall flat on the ground, the pain will go away and I'll just be all numb. Or maybe I'll fly. Hell, it could be possible. With everything that Manticore had tried, there was a good chance." She thought.  
  
She was losing it but then again she had a million reasons to do so. Her life was messed up. She was raised in a secret government facility that turned young children into soldiers, then there's White and his breeding cult after her ass.  
  
Hell. She had the right to be crazy.  
  
She closed her eyes and braced herself. "Soon, the surface of the space needle will disappear and my body would just be falling. I'll be free." She thought before she took another step to leap.  
  
Free. 


	2. chapter two

Max stopped herself before it was too late. She wasn't that crazy.  
  
She sank back down and thought of the people that she was going to leave behind if she had jumped off and killed herself for good.  
  
There was OC, and Sketchy. She wasn't about to hurt them by doing something stupid.  
  
And Logan. She had to explain things to him and apologize.  
  
And Zack would never forgive her. He would always think that she was weak if she had killed herself. It would have been better to die trying than to just give up now by ending her life.  
  
Then there was Alec. She had no idea where the hell he was but she had to fix things with him, if he ever came back.  
  
Maybe it was because of him that she was so miserable. Maybe it was the fact that Alec was there, nagging at her day and night, reminding her of where she came from and who or what she really was.  
  
And who he was.  
  
Ben's twin.  
  
The thought felt like a knife through her heart.  
  
"You are my brother's brother." Max thought. She wanted to cry but she held back the tears. She would always hold them back.  
  
She pushed the thought away and got up. She had to go over to Logan's and talk to him. End things. Whatever there was between them.  
  
Max pushed the door open without knocking as usual. She stopped dead on her tracks. There sprawled on the couch was Logan with some girl underneath him, doing the dirty deed.  
  
Holy shit. That was an understatement.  
  
Before Logan even heard her, Max walked out of the room. She sighed heavily as the door slammed after her. Bastard!  
  
She wanted to punch something, preferably Logan.  
  
"Calm down!" She mentally yelled at herself as she drove her ninja recklessly. She wanted to yell, cry. She was hurting like hell. How could Logan do that? How could he?  
  
Max stopped herself. She had done the same thing to Logan. She had slept with Alec.  
  
"Now you know how he felt when he caught you." Max whispered to herself. She felt bad. Horrible to be exact. They were even. Fair and square.  
  
She cheated on him and he cheated back.  
  
Boy, were they messed up.  
  
But somehow Max didn't feel that bad. She was pissed and hurt but that was understandable and somewhat fair. Logan had the right to sleep with whomever he wanted.  
  
Just as she did.  
  
In a way she had seen this coming. She loved Logan but there was a part of her that was holding back, and somewhat grateful that there was a virus between them. Somewhat grateful that Alec had come along and stepped in.  
  
Max sighed. Too many things to think of. Her head was hurting.  
  
Something had been bugging her all day. At first, she thought it was because Logan had caught her with Alec. And then she blamed everything on him. She felt guilty about that.  
  
That wasn't it though.  
  
Ben. That was what was bugging her. Two days from now is the anniversary of his death. She had killed him. The memories would come flooding back, just as vivid and fresh but ten times more painful.  
  
She'd have to remember again what she had done.  
  
She would never be forgiven. Max knew that already. 


	3. chapter three

A/N: THANKS FOR REVIEWING GUYS. I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D LIKE THIS STORY TOO MUCH. ANYWAY, TO WHISPER, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TOR EAD ANYTHING BEFORE THIS. IT BEGINS WITH MAX ON THE SPACE NEEDLE. SORRY IF IT CONFUSED YOU. HERE'S CHAPTER THREE. MORE REVIEWS PLEASE.  
  
Max slumped down on the chair lazily. She hated being miserable.  
  
"What's the matter little fella?" Joshua asked as he watched her sad expression. Max looked miserable the minute she walked in.  
  
Mac shrugged her shoulders. She didn't feel like talking but it was mean to ignore Joshua.  
  
"Do you know where Alec is?" She asked as she swung her legs over the arm of the chair.  
  
Joshua averted his eyes back to the book that he was reading. "No," He said a little too quietly. Max narrowed her eyes. Something was up. He was hiding something.  
  
"Joshua, what are you not telling me?" Max demanded, getting up abruptly and standing over Joshua with her hands on her hips and her foot tapping on the floor impatiently.  
  
"Joshua promised Alec not to tell. It's a secret." Joshua replied innocent.  
  
Max sighed sharply. Great. He didn't want her to find him.  
  
"When did he say he was coming back, big fella?" Max asked. She was hoping Alec would be back soon.  
  
"Yesterday." Josh answered.  
  
"Yesterday?" She echoed worriedly. "Josh, why didn't you tell me? Alec could be in big trouble." Something was definitely wrong. If Alec said that he would be back yesterday, then he should be home by now. He would never lie to Joshua about that.  
  
"Alec said not to tell Max. Didn't want little fella to worry. Didn't want Maxie to think that Alec is a screw up." Joshua's last words stung. It was true. She had always said that Alec was a screw up. She never knew how much that affected him.  
  
"Did he call to say that he wasn't going to make it on time?" She continued to ask worriedly.  
  
"No. Alec was supposed to come home yesterday. He promised. Alec always keeps his promises." Joshua answered softly.  
  
This was starting to worry Max. Where the hell was Alec? There could be a million reasons why he wasn't home yet. He could have had car trouble. He met a girl. Or he could have gotten hurt. Shot maybe.  
  
"Oh God." Max thought. She hoped he wasn't hurt.  
  
"Josh, you have to tell me where Alec is. He could be in big trouble and we might not know it." She declared. Max didn't want to panic. It wasn't like her but somehow; when it came to Alec she can never control her damn emotions. "You don't want Alec to get hurt, do you?" She added.  
  
Joshua shook his head slightly. Worry crossed his face. He was contemplating on whether he should tell Max or not. He had promised Alec. He wasn't going to say anything to Max. But what if Max was right? What if he was really hurt? He couldn't take that risk.  
  
Josh sighed heavily and told Max everything that he knew. He hoped Alec would forgive him for this betrayal. After all, Josh was thinking about Alec's safety.  
  
"I'm going to kick your ass if you're okay, Alec." She whispered to herself as she drove her ninja outside Seattle city limits.  
  
What was he thinking?  
  
What the hell possessed his stupid little head to go and search for a former Manticore scientist just to get the damn antigen for the virus bitch that kept her and Logan apart?  
  
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!  
  
She wanted to hurt him for worrying her. For even bothering over something that Max had stopped worrying about a long time ago, despite the fact that she still acts like she cares.  
  
She wouldn't know what to do if he was hurt. She hoped he wasn't. She hoped he was having the time of his life in some bar with some girl whom Max thinks doesn't deserve him. It would be better than what she was thinking of right now.  
  
It would be better than him being dead. 


	4. chapter four

A/N: THANKS FOR REVIEWING GUYS. HERE'S CHAPTER FOUR. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. MORE REVIEWS!!  
  
Max walked into the diner beside the run down motel.  
  
It was like stepping into a pre pulse movie. By the counter was a waitress in her yellow and orange uniform with the matching apron waiting to take people's orders. In their cushioned seats were the customers, some looking through the menu, some drinking their coffee and the rest just eating their food in peace.  
  
But Max couldn't care less. She was dead tired, worried as hell and hungry. She had been driving for thirteen hours without stopping. She had seen this sleazy little motel with the diner beside it and her body craved for sleep and food.  
  
She had to stop or she would have fallen asleep on her bike and killed herself.  
  
A couple of hours and she'd be up and looking for Alec. A couple of hours of sleep, she promised herself.  
  
"Sandwich and coffee please." Max ordered as she slid herself over the cushioned stool by the counter.  
  
Max munched her sandwich eagerly. She looked up. She could feel someone staring at her.  
  
Her heart skipped a beat and she almost fell over her seat when she saw who it was.  
  
"Alec?" She whispered, looking surprised. She hadn't expected to find him here. Or more like, him finding her.  
  
Alec looked genuinely startled to see her. "Max, what the hell are you-" He started to speak but was cut off by loud gunshots.  
  
The waitress went down and the customers started to panic. Windows were being shattered into pieces. The whole place was falling apart.  
  
Hell had just broken loose.  
  
Max felt the hard surface of the floor against her cheek. People were screaming. There was glass shattering above her.  
  
What the hell was going on? Who was shooting at them?  
  
Max looked above her. People were being shot down one by one.  
  
Alec was also on the floor. There was blood around him. "Oh God." Max whispered.  
  
She crawled over to him and shook him slightly. She didn't' know where he was hit but he was bleeding a lot. Max lifted Alec up. God, he was heavy.  
  
Somehow, she had managed to drag him out of the diner into the woods since the front was blocked off. Max rested Alec against a tree once she was sure that they were far enough.  
  
"Alec, where are you hit?" She asked lifting his shirt up. There was blood everywhere. She couldn't see anything but blood. She tried to wipe it off. He was hit on the right, just below his rib cage.  
  
"The bullet went right through." Alec said groaning. "I'll be fine." He said looking down at his stomach.  
  
Max shook her head as she tore a piece of her sleeve off. "You're losing a lot of blood." She whispered. This wasn't happening. She prayed that she was just hallucinating and this wasn't true.  
  
"Max, I'll be fine." He said holding her wrist. Max stared at him for a few seconds then looked away. She wanted to cry. She felt so guilty and afraid.  
  
Max nodded silently. "Who were they?" She asked.  
  
Alec sighed. "Manticore soldiers." He replied, frustrated.  
  
"Why were they after you?" She continued. She knew why they were after him but she wanted to hear it from Alec. And she didn't want him to fall asleep and go into shock.  
  
"Who said they were after me?" Alec asked defensively. "Okay, so they were after me. What the hell are you doing here anyway?" He asked, changing the subject.  
  
"Looking for you." She answered quietly as she finished bandaging his wound with a piece of her shirt.  
  
Alec groaned. "Josh told you. Great." He mumbled.  
  
Max sighed. "I made him tell me. He was worried." She explained.  
  
"And you, Maxie? Were you worried?" He asked. Alec's question startled her for a minute.  
  
"I'm here, aren't I? Now, get up. We have to get going. We have to get out of here." She said pulling him up.  
  
Alec winced. "I'm wounded here, Max. Take it easy. Besides, they probably stopped looking for us by now. They're not going to find us in the woods." He said. Max only looked at him.  
  
He was so wrong. If they didn't go now they would find them. And kill them.  
  
"Let's just go." She said angrily, practically dragging him. She just wanted to get out of here.  
  
She didn't like the woods. Too many memories. Mostly of Ben.  
  
"You know Max, I think we should stop." Alec said sitting down on a root before she could protest. They've been walking for four hours. They were going slow because Alec was limping.  
  
"No, Alec. We have to go. They could be closing in on us." She insisted but Alec shook his head.  
  
"If they're really behind us, we have at least a couple of hours ahead of them. We'll be out of here before they even come close." He said cockily.  
  
Max wanted to punch him. He had no idea how dangerous this was. They were in the woods, with nothing on them except the clothes on their backs. Alec was wounded, it was getting dark and they had no weapons to protect themselves with.  
  
"They could have dogs following our trail. We can't afford to stop." She declared.  
  
"I'm tired and the bleeding is getting worse." Alec argued. She was definitely pissing him off. Couldn't she see that he was wounded and needed to rest once in a while?  
  
"Alec-" She started but he cut her off.  
  
"No, Max. Shut up. I'm tired as hell and I want to rest. We can sit here for half and hour and keep going." He said with determination.  
  
"God dammit, listen to me! We have to get out of here!" She yelled angrily. Why wouldn't he listen to her? Why was he being so stubborn?  
  
"No, you listen to me. I'm the wounded one here. I should get at least some rest." He said furiously. "Besides, no one asked for your help." He added and that really pushed her buttons.  
  
Stupid idiot! She wanted to strangle him. If he wasn't wounded right now, she would have attacked him.  
  
"We were worried about you Alec! You just left town without saying anything. You should be grateful that I even bothered to look for you." She spat out angrily.  
  
Alec smirked. "Am I supposed to be grateful now Max? I'm betting you didn't even want to look for me. You felt obligated so you went and looked anyway. Just so you won't feel so damn guilty!" He hissed.  
  
"What the hell am I supposed to be guilty of?" She argued.  
  
"You know what Max, screw you. Go away. I can take care of myself." He said glaring at her angrily. He hated being weakened.  
  
"Take care of yourself?" She echoed. "I'm not taking chances and leaving you here." She declared. Instead of walking away she sat down across from him.  
  
"Oh, so now you think that I can't take care of myself? Poor incompetent Alec. Always needing Max to save his sorry ass." He said bitterly.  
  
"I never said that." Max argued.  
  
"Really? So, when you kept saying that I was a screw up and that I couldn't do anything right, what were you trying to say to me? Alec you're a good guy? Alec, I trust you?" He scoffed. "Right."  
  
Max shut her eyes and exhaled sharply. She wasn't in the mood to argue. Exhaustion was starting to get to her. She hadn't gotten that sleep that she planned on and Alec was getting on her nerves.  
  
"Can we go now?" She asked.  
  
"No, I haven't had enough rest." He replied stubbornly. Alec leaned against the three, making himself comfortable. Max sighed. She didn't want to get comfortable and fall asleep.  
  
Anything could happen. And she wasn't about to let anyone hurt her or Alec.  
  
Even if it cost her, her life. 


	5. chapter five

A/N: THANKS FOR REVIEWING SO FAST GUYS. HERE'S CHAPTER FIVE GUYS. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. I ADDED MORE BEN STUFF INTO THE STORY. THE OTHERS CHAPTERS DIDN'T TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT HIM AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A BIG PART OF THIS FIC. ANYWAY, MORE REVIEWS PLEASE.  
  
Max woke with a start. She had a bad dream but she couldn't remember it. She just knew that it was bad.  
  
She looked around her. No soldiers. Yet.  
  
Alec was seated across from her, sleeping as peacefully as he could in their situation. It was a bad idea for her to let him sleep but she could tell that his breathing was stable. So she left him alone.  
  
Max stared at him for a few minutes and unconsciously, she felt her eyes tear up. He looked so boyish. So innocent. And so much like Ben. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought that the man sleeping in front of her was her brother. They looked so much alike.  
  
Identical.  
  
Ben was beautiful, loving, caring, sweet, and innocent. But he was crazy. Alec was not.  
  
"I killed him," Max thought sadly. "I killed my own brother and here I am in the woods with his twin."  
  
All the memories were flooding back. It was morning already. The anniversary of Ben's death.  
  
Max looked down on the ground and played with the grass underneath her. She couldn't look at Alec. All she saw was Ben. Her big brother that she loved beyond reasonable doubt.  
  
All she saw was the man she killed a year ago today.  
  
Max sniffled. She hoped Alec won't wake up and see her crying. She hated being weak. Emotion was a weakness. She didn't have the liberty to be weak now. She had to get Alec and herself out of the woods and into safety.  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered.  
  
"Sorry for what?" Alec's voice startled her.  
  
"I wasn't talking to you." She whispered without even looking up.  
  
"Great. You're talking to yourself. You're losing your mind." He said sarcastically. Max just stood up and said nothing which surprised him.  
  
"We have to get going. We slept more than we should have." She said.  
  
"Are you okay?" Alec asked concerned when he saw that her eyes were blood shot and she looked like a tornado had just hit her.  
  
"I'm fine. Let's go." She said turning away before she caught a glimpse of him.  
  
"Max, look at me." He said turning her so that she would face him. Max looked at him and she tried to see past the face. See who he was inside but right now it was impossible. All she saw was her brother.  
  
"Let's go, Alec." She said softly. Had she looked at him any longer, she would have broken down and cried and called him Ben.  
  
And she knew that she couldn't do that to him. He was Alec. Not Ben.  
  
"Remember that Max." She mentally told herself as she walked beside him.  
  
"Why did you want to get the antigen for the virus?" She asked suddenly.  
  
"Because I wanted you to figure your problems out." He said bitterly.  
  
"What problems?" She asked defensively.  
  
What was he talking about? She didn't have problems. So what if her life was a little screwed up? So what if she had a secret government facility as a home while growing up? So what if she was raised as a soldier instead of a normal human being? So what if there's a cult after her ass twenty four seven? So what if she tried to kill herself two days ago?  
  
Those were not news to her  
  
"You and Logan." He answered, snapping her out of her reverie.  
  
Max frowned. "What about me and Logan?" She asked. It was basically over between them.  
  
"Max, listen. I wanted to give the antigen to you so that you would stop bothering me and making my life miserable and move on with Logan already. You two can live happily ever after." He declared rather cynically.  
  
Max looked at him. Really looked at him. So, she makes his life miserable? That hurt.  
  
"Alec, I didn't ask you to do that." She said, sounding resentful which hurt him a little. She didn't want Logan. As much as they shared together, it just wasn't worth it anymore.  
  
They were friends.  
  
Actually, less than that. More like business partners.  
  
"Well, I took the liberty to fix everything for you." He retorted.  
  
"Alec, why the hell are you so angry with me? What the hell did I do?" She asked, getting frustrated with him.  
  
"Max, I'm not angry with you. I'm just annoyed. It pisses me off that you have to sneak around to sleep with me. Why the hell does everything about us have to be a secret?" He said. Talking about their problems was making him irritated. "And when Logan caught us, you got angry with me. I didn't do anything wrong Max. We consented. Meaning you and me. But you just had to turn around and blame everything on me." He continued. He looked angry as he told her. He wasn't the type to talk about feelings. "Like you always do." He added quietly.  
  
"I'm sorry." She said. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm not good at relationships, Alec." She explained. "And I don't blame you for everything that goes wrong."  
  
"Nice excuse Max." He said. "But thanks."  
  
She looked up at him and frowned. "It's not an excuse. It's true. Growing up in Manticore didn't exactly make me the most capable person when it came to relationships."  
  
Alec nodded, not really believing her explanation.  
  
"I want to get out of here." Max said softly, quickly changing the subject. It was true. She wanted to get out. Now. Spending time with a wounded Alec in the woods wasn't in her to do list.  
  
Everywhere she looked, she saw her brother.  
  
She heard his voice in her head. Maxie. He was calling to her. Haunting her.  
  
She was losing her mind. 


	6. chapter six

A/N: HERE YOU GO GUYS. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. JUST REMEMBER THAT IM A TOTAL M/A SHIPPER AND I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO KILL ALEC. DON'T HATE ME FOR THIS. JUST WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. REVIEWS PLEASE.  
  
  
  
"Did you hear that?" Max asked in barely a whisper, frantically looking around them. She had heard a twig snap, then footsteps.  
  
"Someone's here." Alec said. He adjusted his vision to enhance it and see closer. "Shit." He mumbled as he spotted a camouflaged soldier, aiming his gun right at them. He had at least three or four behind him. Alec wasn't sure.  
  
"What?" Max asked.  
  
"Run!" He said and before she could make a comment, Alec grabbed her hand and they started fleeing. That was when the guns went off.  
  
Max knew she was hit because her left shoulder had gone numb for a few minutes, then it started throbbing. She could feel her shirt soaking with her own blood. But she kept running anyway. Alec was right beside her. His older wound had torn and it was bleeding again.  
  
"I think we lost them." Alec said looking around.  
  
"We have to keep going." Max insisted despite the pain that she was feeling. She really wanted to get out of these freaking woods. She was scared to death. Everything was way too damn familiar. It was like it was happening with her and Ben again. This time, ten times worse and terrifying.  
  
"You're bleeding." Alec said, looking at her arm frantically.  
  
"I'm fine but we have to keep going." She said. In the distance she could hear dogs. They were tracking their blood trail down. Shit. "Alec, let's go." She urgently when she noticed that he was still preoccupied with her wounded shoulder.  
  
"We should stop the bleeding. It doesn't look so good." He insisted quietly.  
  
Max sighed sharply. She didn't care if she was bleeding to death. They had to get out of there.  
  
They had to.  
  
"I'll be fine. Let's just go." She said. She was tired of telling him to go. The more they stalled, the more their enemies got closer.  
  
But before they could move from their spot, a gun shot pierced the air, hitting the space between them. Max and Alec ducked and went into combat mode. Six soldiers we approaching them. Thank God, they weren't shooting.  
  
Max blurred and took one down, breaking his neck in the process. Alec did the same but more soldiers were approaching by the minute and in their wounded state, Max and Alec we're getting tired easily. They were weakening.  
  
They fought as hard as they could, kicking, punching, flipping. It didn't matter. They just had to keep fighting.  
  
Suddenly a gunshot interrupted Max's focus on her enemy. She frantically looked around her.  
  
Alec went down, shot right in the back. "No," Max whispered as she took down the last two soldiers.  
  
She ran over to him, cradling his head in her lap. "Alec?" She whispered. "Please say something." Max was on the verge of tears. She didn't want to cry. She couldn't.  
  
She had to think of something.  
  
She looked down at him, all bloody and barely awake. Alec coughed. His face was all bruised. "Maxie?" He said trying to see her face more clearly.  
  
Maxie. That definitely got to her. Ben used to call her that.  
  
"Alec. Alec, wake up." She said slapping his face gently.  
  
"I'm awake. I'm fine." He said. Max shook her head. Why the hell did he have to say that? Why the hell did he have to say that he was fine when he wasn't? "Are there more coming?" He asked.  
  
"No." She said looking around her. There weren't anymore coming. They were all sprawled around them, mangled and dead. Max looked back down at Alec. "Where does it hurt?" She asked holding him gently.  
  
"All over." He groaned. "Don't cry Maxie." He whispered when he saw the sad look on her face.  
  
"I'm not crying." She argued stubbornly despite the obvious tears streaming down her face. "Don't die on me, Alec." She said sniffling as she held him tighter.  
  
"I won't Max. I plan on sticking around longer and making your life miserable." He said jokingly.  
  
Max smiled miserably. "Promise?" She asked.  
  
"I promise." He said. Max swallowed her tears. She looked around for a few minutes, lost in her surroundings.  
  
"What's the matter?" Alec asked, interrupting her thoughts.  
  
"This is it." She whispered. At first, she thought she hadn't said it.  
  
"This is what?" Alec continued.  
  
Max shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "This is the exact spot. Right here." She said more tearfully. She was falling apart but somewhere along the way, she had stopped caring. "I killed him here." Her voice was breaking.  
  
"Ben." Alec whispered. She had told him a long time ago of what she did but he didn't know that this was the place. "I didn't know. I'm sorry." He whispered taking her bloodstained hand into his.  
  
"Me too." Max cried. She stared at him for a few minutes. "He died today." She added.  
  
Alec didn't know what to say.  
  
"I loved him." Max continued when he didn't say anything. "I loved him a lot and I killed him. But he didn't want to go back. He was so afraid." She said sniffling. "And he asked me. I didn't want to, Alec. I didn't want to but." She was shaking from her sobs.  
  
Alec could see the guilt and pain and torture in her eyes. He heard it in her voice when she spoke his name. It was eating at her.  
  
"You had no choice." He said but he knew that wouldn't do any justice. That wasn't good enough to make her feel better, to make Max stop blaming herself.  
  
But bringing Ben back would. And that was impossible.  
  
"But I should have tried harder. I should have." She looked down at him, seeing Ben in his face. Only different. He wasn't Ben. He was Alec. "I'm sorry Alec. I'm sorry. I killed him. I killed our brother." She whimpered.  
  
Alec didn't like her last words. Ben was his twin but he wasn't Max's "brother". So they grew up as brother and sister but they weren't really siblings. He didn't like the thought of Max being his sister.  
  
He liked her more than that.  
  
"We have to go. Can you get up?" Max asked suddenly. She was still a little dazed but she knew that they couldn't sit here all day. They were both wounded, Alec more than she was.  
  
Alec blinked. "It's cold." He whispered hoarsely. "I can't feel anything." The throbbing pain had gone away now and all he could feel was the numbness.  
  
Fear flashed in Max's eyes. "No," She sobbed. "Please no." She begged. If there was a god, if the Blue Lady was listening, she prayed that they would show mercy  
  
Alec blinked his eyes slowly. He was so sleepy. He wanted to sleep, right here. Right now. With Max holding him like this. Except he didn't want her to cry. She looked better when she didn't cry.  
  
"I'm here, Maxie. It's okay." He said touching her face as he took a deep breath. "I'm here." He said slowly drifting into the darkness. He could hear Max sobbing and he wanted to stay awake. But he couldn't.  
  
"Alec, Alec! No." She said as she cradled him in her arms. "You can't die. You can't. Please don't do this. Please." She whispered as she sobbed uncontrollably, Alec in her arms. 


	7. chapter seven

A/N: HERE YOU GO. CHAPTER SEVEN AS PROMISED. I KNOW, I'M EVIL.HEHEHE..BUT I WANT MORE REVIEWS GUYS. I'M THINKING OF TAKING THIS STORY AS A HOSTAGE. IF I DON'T GET ENOUGH REVIEWS THEN I WON'T PUT UP THE NEXT CHAPTERS. ANYWA, ENJOY. HAVE FUN AND MORE REVIEWS OKAY.  
  
  
  
OC stood there, her hands crossed in front of her chest, worry written all over her face.  
  
"How is she?" Logan asked interrupting her thoughts.  
  
OC shrugged. She had been staring at Max and Alec for the last four hours. There was still no change. "She's going to lose it soon if Alec doesn't wake up." OC answered.  
  
"That bad?" Logan asked, sounding a little surprised.  
  
"Yes, actually worse." She sighed heavily. "She won't move. She just sits there and holds his hand and cries. She won't eat or talk to anyone. She's hysterical." She said looking at Logan.  
  
"How did this happen?" Logan asked. He was the last to be notified and no one had given him any explanation since he got here two hours ago.  
  
"They were hunted and gunned down." OC replied.  
  
Logan didn't seem shocked, just sorry.  
  
"She practically took a pick-up truck driver hostage just to get Alec to the hospital. That's what I hear at least." She added.  
  
Logan nodded.  
  
"I want her to be okay." OC said to Logan who looked baffled, not knowing what to do.  
  
What the hell was he supposed to do? It was obvious Max wasn't going anywhere with Alec in that condition.  
  
"I want them to be okay." She corrected herself.  
  
"I know." Logan said quietly. He did too. Despite the hurt he was feeling, he hoped that Alec would be okay. It didn't matter that he was still angry at both of them. He'd have to put his hate on hold and be supportive for Max and Alec's sake.  
  
OC and Logan sat there, lost in their own thoughts, both hoping for the best to come out of this.  
  
Max looked at Alec worriedly. She'd been staring at him for the longest time.  
  
She was hurting all over.  
  
She didn't know if it was because she had been shot and hunted down and she was bruised on every part of her body or if it was because she was so damn scared for Alec.  
  
Max didn't care.  
  
"Alec, please." She whispered. She had said that almost ten times now. She didn't know what she was expecting to happen every time she said it. She just wanted him to move, to open his eyes, and say something.  
  
Anything.  
  
A million things were flooding in her mind. She was thinking too much. She was going to lose her sanity soon.  
  
"I have lost everyone I loved Alec. Please, don't go too." Max whispered. "You're all I have left." She added.  
  
It was true.  
  
Zack was gone. He was Adam now, living in some farm, raising cattle. Not a clue about his past. Not a memory of Manticore or of Max.  
  
Tinga died trying to save her son Case. And Charlie had gone all the way to Canada, wanting nothing to do with them.  
  
Brin was somewhere. Like the rest of her siblings.  
  
The rest of them, she didn't know where they were.  
  
And of course there was Ben. Beautiful, brave Ben.  
  
She killed him.  
  
That was the worse. She loved him, and she admired him but in the end, it was her who took the last breath away from him.  
  
He had died by her hands.  
  
She had lost him today. She had lost so much already. Losing Alec would be like losing Ben again. If Alec died, she didn't know what she'd do. She would probably fall apart and maybe, just maybe, she's finally going to jump off the space needle.  
  
End her misery.  
  
"That's right. I'll be miserable without you." Max thought as she held him hand. Despite how she usually acted around Alec, it was hard to deny the fact that she cared.  
  
Alec wasn't the object of her misery. Life without Alec was.  
  
Max would always care.  
  
He was Alec. Her pretty soldier boy with the bad attitude and the unnerving ability to get to her with a single word.  
  
But she cared about him. He was family.  
  
"No, more than that." Max mentally corrected herself. She loved him. She didn't know exactly how deep that love went but she knew she loved him.  
  
Alec may look like Ben but her feelings for him weren't sisterly. They were different.  
  
She couldn't explain it but right now, as she sat there, staring at him, she only saw Alec.  
  
Her Alec.  
  
"I love you." She didn't know whether she had thought it or said it out loud but Max didn't care. "You better make it out of this Alec because I want you to know." She continued quietly. "I want you to know that I care. That I love you. And besides, whose ass am I going to kick when I'm pissed?" She added with a miserable smile.  
  
Logan watched Max and Alec as OC went to get something to eat. She loved Alec.  
  
Really loved him.  
  
Logan finally realized it. The whole thing wasn't just a simple one night stand or a way to cheat on him. It was more than that.  
  
Logan saw it now as he watched Max sit there, beside Alec, with her head resting on the side of his bed, holding his hand.  
  
Max never looked at him like that. She had never cried that hard for him.  
  
But this was Alec and somehow it was all different.  
  
Logan sighed. He felt genuinely sorry for them.  
  
If it made Max happy, if it took that tortured look away from her face, then Logan prayed for Alec to live.  
  
Hopefully.  
  
. 


	8. chapter eight

A/N: THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. I DON'T UPDATE UNLESS I GET REVIEWS YOU KNOW. ANYWAY, I'M GLAD THAT YOU GUYS LIKE THIS STORY SO FAR. AND YA I KNOW, I'M MEAN FOR MAKING YOU GUYS THINK THAT ALEC DIED. BUT LIKE I SAID, I WOULD NEVER KILL HIM. AND I DUNNO IF IT'S A GOOD OR BAD THING THAT I MADE SOME OF YOU CRY. ANYWAY, THANKS. HERE'S CHAPTER EIGHT.  
  
"Max, you have to eat something." OC insisted for the fifth time already.  
  
Max shook her head again, as expected.  
  
They've been at the hospital for two days now and Alec hadn't moved an inch.  
  
Neither did Max.  
  
OC sighed sharply and glanced at Logan, begging him to do something. "Max, Cindy's right. You have to eat something." He coaxed softly. She looked terrible.  
  
Her hair was a mess. She had a wounded arm and she was in hospital scrubs. Thank god for that. In the first day that they were there, Max didn't want to move, even just to change out of her torn and blood stained clothes.  
  
"I said I don't want to eat." She argued irately.  
  
"You know boo, I don't know what you're going through but I care about Alec too." OC said softly standing by the doorway. "And I know that he wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. A hunger strike isn't going to make him recover any faster."  
  
Max sighed sharply. Why wouldn't they just go away? She didn't care if she was starving to death or that she was dying for a shower. She'd wait here as long as possible for Alec.  
  
She just wanted him to get better so badly.  
  
He was in a coma. The doctors didn't know how long he'd be like that. Or if he was going to survive at all. Even with their genetically enhanced DNA, nothing was for certain.  
  
"Boo, take a break. Do it for Alec." OC insisted.  
  
"No," Max whispered firmly. She wasn't going to take a "break". She was going to sit here, no matter how long it took her.  
  
She didn't want to miss a moment with him.  
  
She was so afraid that the minute she turned her back on him, it would be the last she'll ever see Alec.  
  
This was her fault. Max knew that. Alec wouldn't be lying here, dying if it wasn't for her. If only she hadn't been such a bitch to him. Then maybe he wouldn't have come up with the idea of getting the antigen for her. If only.  
  
Max turned to look at OC who was just standing there, determined that she eat something.  
  
"Fine. Put it over there." Max said indicating to the table. She didn't want to be mean to OC or to ignore her best friend but she had no choice.  
  
Right now, Alec was her priority.  
  
He had to come first.  
  
"Thanks." She added which pleased OC. At least there was progress with Max.  
  
Max waited for OC to close the door behind her before she turned her attention back to Alec. "Please be okay." She thought.  
  
She had begged him that for two days now and Alec made no improvement.  
  
She sighed as she leaned against the chair. It felt good. She had forgotten what good felt like. She hadn't showered, eaten anything or slept.  
  
Her body ached all over.  
  
She rested her head on Alec's bed. Sleep was a good idea. An hour would be fine enough. Before she could change her mind, Max fell into deep sleep.  
  
Max woke up, startled that someone was touching her face. She felt a little disoriented.  
  
"What the he-" She whispered but trailed off when she saw Alec, wide awake, looking at her. "Alec, oh God." She said breaking into tears.  
  
She was so damn happy that she had to cry again.  
  
She had almost lost hope.  
  
She came so close to believing that he was never going to wake up again and he would die like this-a vegetable.  
  
"Hey. You're supposed to be smiling." Alec said taking her hand. Max nodded, trying to swallow her tears.  
  
She abruptly stood up and hugged him tightly. "Don't ever scare me like that again." She said still clinging to him.  
  
It felt good to see him awake and talking again.  
  
"Max, you can let go now. I'd like to be able to breathe sometime soon." He said, his voice hoarse but happy.  
  
"Oh." Max said pulling away, smiling sadly.  
  
"How long have we been here?" He asked curiously.  
  
"Two days. Give or take a few hours." She replied.  
  
"You look awful." Alec chuckled looking at her.  
  
Max didn't care. She was just so happy that he was awake. She was still a little teary.  
  
"I almost lost you." She whispered, her voice breaking again.  
  
"You're never going to lose me. I promised you remember?" He said firmly.  
  
Max nodded sitting on the side of his bed.  
  
"Go take a shower Max. You smell." He suddenly said taking her by surprise. Alec chuckled softly. Max smiled a little and nodded, doing what he said.  
  
Anything for Alec.  
  
Max walked out of the shower into his room. She was in new clean scrubs. She felt better. Not because of the shower but because she knew that Alec was okay. She was so relieved that she almost slipped in the shower just hurrying to get back to him.  
  
She looked at him as she took her seat next to him. He was asleep again. "I missed you." Max whispered.  
  
"Hey." Alec said, opening his eyes lazily. Max smiled.  
  
"Hey." She said. They sat there in silence for a few minutes. Max was staring into space, her eyes tearing up again. "I'm sorry Alec." She finally said, breaking the uneasy silence.  
  
"Sorry for what?" He asked, looking slightly confused and worried about her. She looked uncharacteristically beaten.  
  
"For everything." She whispered. "I'm sorry for being cruel and mean, for saying that you're a screw up and for blaming you when Logan caught us. Maybe.maybe this wouldn't have happened to you." She said sniffling quietly. "You're not a screw up, Alec." She added, feeling ashamed and sorry for everything that she'd done to him.  
  
She felt so damn guilty that she could barely look at him.  
  
"Hey, no more crying. Okay, Max?" He said softly. "I've seen you cry so much in the woods that I forgot you were capable of smiling."  
  
"But Alec, you almost died." She insisted.  
  
"No. No buts Max. I'm fine. See?" He said lifting his arms and waving them in the air, making her laugh a little. "There, much better. You laughed." Alec said smiling.  
  
"Alec-" She said but he cut her off.  
  
"No. Stop torturing yourself. It's not your fault. You can't save me from everything that goes wrong." He ordered firmly.  
  
That was what Max was afraid of.  
  
"Besides, I always get myself in trouble anyway, right?" The minute he said it, he regretted it. Max looked even guiltier than she did before.  
  
"I'm just saying that I'm sorry." She insisted softly.  
  
"I know Max but honestly, you don't' have to be sorry for anything." Alec answered.  
  
"Okay." She said wiping her tears away, knowing full well that there was no point on arguing with Alec. His mind was set and she might as well let him win on this one.  
  
"Good. Now, come here." He said trying to move in his bed.  
  
Max frowned. What the hell was he trying to do? Rip his stitches?  
  
"What are you doing?" She asked worriedly.  
  
"Come here and lay down. I know that you've been sitting in that chair since we got here." Alec declared.  
  
Max looked at the bed then at Alec uncertainly. "Oh what the hell." She whispered as she cautiously slipped next to him on the bed.  
  
Max laid there for a few minutes, her head gently resting on Alec's chest. "Am I hurting you?" She asked, making sure that he was okay.  
  
"No. I'm fine." He replied. "We're fine." He added.  
  
Max smiled. She couldn't believe that he was okay again. It didn't matter what she believed anymore.  
  
Alec was all right.  
  
That was good enough for her.  
  
OC and Logan found them that way. Max sleeping peacefully beside Alec, his free arm wrapped around her protectively.  
  
OC just smiled, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Thank you." She whispered.  
  
Logan looked at her, wondering who she was thanking exactly.  
  
It didn't matter.  
  
They were just thankful. 


	9. chapter nine

A/N: THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS GUYS. IF IT WASN'T FOR ANY OF YOU I WOULDN'T HAVE CONTINUED THIS FIC. ANYWAY, SORRY FOR THE DELAY. I KNOW YOU GUYS LIKE IT WHEN I UPDATE FAST. SO REVIEW REAL FAST TOO OK. LOL. ANYWAY, HERE'S CHAPTER NINE. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. KIND OF LONG. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. ENJOY.  
  
  
  
"Do you hate me because I look like him?" Alec asked startling Max.  
  
"I thought you were sleeping." She said quietly, looking up at him.  
  
"Well do you?" Alec continued, rather determined that he get the answer.  
  
"No." Max answered. "No, I don't hate you because you look like Ben."  
  
"Okay." Alec said not really sure of what to say. He wondered whether he was supposed to thank her or not.  
  
The thought had been bothering him for awhile but he never had the courage to confront Max about it.  
  
"It's not your fault that you look like him." She said softly. "I never held it against you. It's just sometimes, when I look at you, I see him. And then I remember that I lost him. That I killed him." She explained sadly.  
  
She was on the verge of tears again but max fought to keep it inside her.  
  
Like Alec said, no more crying.  
  
Alec didn't know what to say. God, it made him feel terrible to know that whenever Max looked at him, it brought her pain and guilt.  
  
"I'm sorry." He managed to say.  
  
"No don't be." Max said.  
  
"But then again I don't see Ben. I see you." She continued. "I know that you two look exactly the same but not really at the same time. It's strange. I can't explain it." She said sighing a little, sounding somewhat frustrated. "I mean you're different. Ben told me stories, held my hand when we were little, watched over me when we were out training. You're Alec. You bug the hell out of me, you argue with me and you make me laugh. You protect me even when I don't want to be protected. Ben was my brother. You're not." She added.  
  
Alec smiled a little. At least Max knew the difference between them.  
  
"I'm sorry you know, if I make it hard on you." She added softly. "Sometimes, I can't help it."  
  
Alec looked at her. He felt sorry for her. Hell. It must have been tough living with the fact that she killed her own brother and then having to see his face everyday.  
  
"I knew you know." Alec whispered breaking the silence that was making them slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"Knew what?" Max asked curiously.  
  
"When he died, I felt it." Alec said sadly. "I never saw him but I knew he was there. When he was gone it hurt me too." He sighed heavily.  
  
Max felt terrible for Alec. Losing Ben had been terrible.  
  
Not knowing him would have been worse.  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered.  
  
It made her feel awful.  
  
She had robbed Alec of his brother.  
  
She had taken his chance of ever meeting Ben and knowing him.  
  
"No more sorries Max." He said holding her hand tightly. "We have enough to be guilty about."  
  
"Ok." She said.  
  
"Oh shit!" Alec said patting his pant leg, looking for something.  
  
"What?" Max asked worriedly. He was acting strange.  
  
"These aren't my pants." He said sounding rather annoyed and worried.  
  
"Yeah, the hospital took yours when you were brought in here and gave you scrubs instead." She said matter of factly.  
  
She wanted to laugh but by the way Alec was acting, she was getting worried.  
  
"God dammit. Max where the hell are my pants?" He said frantically looking around.  
  
"Alec, calm down. They're somewhere. What the hell is so damn important with those pants?" She asked.  
  
He was beginning to really worry her.  
  
He practically pushed her off the bed just trying to get up and look for his pants.  
  
"Just find them!" He hissed. The antigen was in his damn pockets.  
  
That was the reason he was shot and lying in this uncomfortable bed, in this creepy hospital that reminded him too much of Manticore.  
  
He wasn't about to lose the antigen now.  
  
He had gone through so much just to get that freaking thing for Max.  
  
"Ok, ok, jeez." Max said giving up. She straightened herself and stood up to look for the pants.  
  
What the hell just happened?  
  
It was going so well.  
  
They were bonding, talking about their problems, figuring things out.  
  
Then he had to remember his damn pants.  
  
"I'll be back." She said tensely to Alec as she walked out of his room to ask someone about his freaking pants.  
  
"Urgh!" She said when she was far enough.  
  
What the hell was going on?  
  
"Hey boo, how's Alec? Are you okay?" OC said when Max met her in the hallway.  
  
"I'm fine. Alec's fine." Max said distractedly.  
  
"Well, you sure don't sound it." OC insisted. Max was looking pissed and worried at the same time.  
  
Max was supposed to be happy now that Alec was all better, considering the way she acted when he wasn't.  
  
"Alec wants to find his pants." Max said lamely.  
  
"What the hell is so precious about his pants?" OC asked curiously.  
  
"I don't know, OC but Alec is adamant on finding them." Max sighed sharply, running her fingers through her hair.  
  
"You don't look okay." OC declared.  
  
"I'm not okay, OC. Alec and I were getting good. We...we.urgh!" Max said rather annoyed. "Forget it." Max sighed.  
  
"It'll be fine." OC said calmly, rubbing Max arms. "Just find his pants. I'm betting everything will be back to normal." OC said with a chuckle.  
  
Max nodded and groaned as she walked away to look for Alec's pants.  
  
"Here." She said giving Alec's pants over to him. Max had spent half an hour looking for them, bugging the hospital staff and practically going to the dumpster to get them.  
  
She wanted to throw it at him.  
  
She was pissed off and she didn't know why.  
  
"Thanks." Alec said as he searched through his pockets.  
  
Max shrugged her shoulders as she slumped down on the seat lazily.  
  
"Anything for your damn pants." She thought bitterly. Max knew that she should be glad that Alec was alive.  
  
And she was.  
  
She was so damn happy that she could barely keep her hands off of him.  
  
But he was acting so strange now. He didn't even seem to care about her.  
  
"Stupid, stupid pants!" Max thought.  
  
God. Why the hell was she getting so upset over his pants?  
  
It was ridiculous. But she couldn't help it.  
  
She cared about him. She loved him.  
  
"I'm going to go outside and talk to Logan and OC." She said abruptly standing up.  
  
"Max?" Alec said softly.  
  
"Yeah?" She said, sounding harsher than she expected.  
  
"I want you to have this." He said handing over to her a small vile with a blue serum.  
  
Alec looked so miserable as he gave it to her.  
  
Max's hand started to tremble as she took it from him.  
  
She was fighting so damn hard not to cry.  
  
"What's this?" She asked, her voice breaking, betraying her in the process.  
  
"For you and Logan." He said.  
  
"You got it." She whispered, holding the vile tightly.  
  
"Yeah. I got it." Alec replied. "You didn't think I was getting shot at and beaten for nothing right?" He said with a soft chuckle.  
  
Alec kept smiling, despite the hurt that he was feeling inside.  
  
"This is for you, Maxie. All for you. Now you got to choose." He thought. He wanted to say it to her but like her, he was scared.  
  
He didn't really know if she loved him back.  
  
Max was acting like she cared.  
  
But Alec didn't know whether it was because she cared about him as Alec or because today was Ben's death anniversary and she didn't want to lose her brother all over again through him.  
  
"I'll still love you if you choose him." Alec didn't know if he had thought it or said it but by the way Max was looking at him, the tears falling down her face, he suspected that he had blurted it out.  
  
He didn't care. At least now she knows.  
  
Alec didn't know if she was unhappy or relieved or thankful. She was just crying.  
  
"Go." He said firmly. The words tearing at his heart.  
  
"If you walk out that door, I lose you." He thought.  
  
Max nodded, as if understanding him.  
  
She brushed the fresh tears away from her eyes and looked at Alec.  
  
She walked out the door without a single word.  
  
"Good bye, Max." Alec whispered as the tears slowly welled up in his tears, betraying him. 


	10. chapter ten

A/N: SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO PUT UP THE NEXT CHAPTER GUYS. MY COMPUTER DECIDED TO BREAK ON ME. ANYWAY, HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTEP. IT'S NOT THE BIG ASS CONFRONTATION THAT YOU WANTED BUT I HOPE IT'LL DO. REVIEWS PLEASE. ENJOY.  
  
Max looked down at the serum in her hand. She didn't know what to do.  
  
"Are you okay?" Logan asked, interrupting her troubled thoughts.  
  
"I'm fine." Max croaked, wiping the tears away.  
  
"Why are you crying? Is Alec okay?" He asked sounding more concerned than he wanted.  
  
"He gave this to us." She said opening her hand for him to see.  
  
"Oh." Logan looked shocked. He waited for her to say something. A million thoughts crossed his mind.  
  
"It's too late." She whispered.  
  
It was finally here. The one thing that she had wanted for so long. But it meant nothing now. How strange that she had used up all her energy on looking for the serum and now that it was here, she didn't want it anymore.  
  
Logan looked sorry but Max was right. It was too late. For them at least.  
  
They had spent about a year tiptoeing around each other, denying their feelings. Just when they were so close to admitting things, the virus had come between them. Now, whatever they once had or wanted to have together was gone.  
  
And they both knew it.  
  
Max went and got a syringe. "Let's get this over with." She said.  
  
When she was through, they had both stood there, looking at each other, unsure of what to do next. It was Max who made the next move. She stepped forward and hugged Logan.  
  
It felt good to hold him again, to be able to touch him and know that she wasn't killing him. A part of her was grateful that this was over, but another was glad that she had been given the chance to realize that what she had with him was just friendship if nothing else.  
  
"I don't love you." She whispered. Max didn't want to be harsh but it was the truth and it needed to be said.  
  
Somehow, Logan didn't look hurt or angry.  
  
"I know." He said quietly. He had known for a long time but a part of him was denying the inevitable fact. He didn't really love her anyway. He knew that now. There were a million things that were different between them and would always come in their way. What he had long believed was love wasn't at all. He had wanted to save Max, just as he wanted to save the world from all things that were cruel. He had wanted to save her from the past that she was running from, from all the hurt in the world and he had wanted to save her from herself. But now Logan knew that there are things in the world that do not need saving.  
  
Max was one of them.  
  
She felt nothing as she hugged him. No surging of emotions, no love. Absolutely nothing.  
  
They had betrayed each other but for once, Max wasn't sorry and she wasn't going to apologize for what she had done.  
  
She finally did the right thing, even if it took longer to grasp.  
  
"Good bye, Logan." Max said with a small smile.  
  
"Bye." He said.  
  
It wasn't really good bye. They were going to see each other around Seattle. It was just Max's way of saying that it was finally over between them and Logan's way of telling her that she had his blessing to be with the one man that she truly deserved and loved, whether she wanted it or not.  
  
There were no hard feelings between them, despite of what they had done to each other.  
  
They would leave all those in the past.  
  
Max walked away from him and back to Alec's room. She wanted to thank him. He had done a lot of good things for her. She pushed the door open slowly.  
  
Empty. 


	11. chapter eleven

A/N: HERE YOU GO GUYS. THE FINAL CHAPTER. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. I CAN SEE THAT YOU TOTALLY HATED HOW I WROTE THE LAST CHAPTER..LOL...I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE TAKE MAX AND ALEC'S RELATIONSHIP SO SERIOUSLY..LOL...IM JUST GLAD YOU'RE ALL VERY DEVOTED TO THEM..ANYWAY, THANKS FOR READING. ENJOY.  
  
  
  
"You know, you can't do this whole disappearing act too often because I don't want to be chasing after you all the time and besides, you should be in bed-recuperating." Max said quietly as she stood in the darkness.  
  
"No one asked you to care, Max." Alec said rudely, not even bothering to turn around and look at her. He was sitting by the edge of the Space needle, his legs folded close to his chest and his arms holding them together.  
  
"Too close to the edge," Max thought.  
  
"How's Logan?" He asked bitterly. Right now he hated Logan and the antigen. He hated himself most of all for getting it.  
  
But Alec wanted peace. He wanted Max to figure things out so that he might have a clue on where he fits in her life.  
  
If he didn't fit anywhere then he was gone.  
  
Goodbye Seattle and goodbye Max.  
  
"You know a few days ago, I wanted to jump off of here." She declared casually as she sat down next to him.  
  
Alec looked startled. He had no idea that Max had even thought of killing herself.  
  
"I wanted to see how much pain I could take." Max whispered, still looking down as if she was still thinking of jumping.  
  
Alec looked terrified as he watched her. For a second, she looked crazy.  
  
"I felt insane." She said as if reading his thoughts, looking at him now. She couldn't cry anymore. She had cried all her tears already. "With the whole thing with you and Logan, you know. Plus Ben's death anniversary." Max sighed heavily.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said sincerely. Max went on.  
  
"I knew that I had to tell Logan about us. I had to. I didn't want anymore secrets." She explained. "But I put it on hold because all I could think of was Ben. And you."  
  
"Max-" Alec spoke but Max cut him off.  
  
"No, let me finish." She insisted. "I was dreading the day of his anniversary. I was so damn scared of it, of having to relive it all over again. I think a part of me believed that everything would be replayed and Ben would be alive and I would have to kill him again" She said brokenly. "And then you got shot in the woods and all I could think of was that it really was happening again but this time, I would have to kill you, instead of Ben." She looked at him, broken and afraid and filled with so much guilt.  
  
"It's okay, Maxie." He said pulling her close to him. "I didn't die. I'm still here." Alec whispered in her hair as she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. As much as he was hurting now, he still loved her.  
  
All the uncertainty seemed to go away as he held her there. In that moment, he didn't care. He just wanted to hold her and if it was the last time he would be able to do it, then it was fine. It would break his heart but Alec was willing to accept that for now.  
  
"I'm sorry, I hurt you." She added quietly.  
  
"You can never hurt me." He declared.  
  
"But I do hurt you. And I did, lots of times." She insisted.  
  
"Never mind, Max. It doesn't matter." Alec whispered.  
  
"I told him I didn't love him." She said so suddenly that Alec was taken aback, unsure of whom she was talking about.  
  
"What?" He asked, sounding more shock than they both expected.  
  
"Logan. I told him that I didn't love him." She clarified, looking at him.  
  
"Oh." He said. He was so happy that he couldn't move.  
  
"Say something." She said.  
  
Alec looked at her, unsure of what to say. "Like what?" He asked.  
  
Max narrowed her eyes and moved away from him. God, she couldn't believe he wasn't even the slightest bit happy. Her heart sunk as she looked at him.  
  
He looked so confused.  
  
"Never mind." She said quietly as she stood up abruptly.  
  
"Where are you going?" He asked as she dusted her pants and walked away.  
  
"Home. I'm going home." She said flatly without looking back at him. What had happened? She had practically told him that she loved him. And nothing. Not even a small happy smile.  
  
Just a confused look on his face that told her everything.  
  
"What? Why?" He insisted as he caught up with her.  
  
"Max, stop and look at me." He said pulling her arm and forcing her to face him.  
  
"I'm sorry. My mistake." She mumbled. Yeah. I made a mistake thinking you'd be happy that I told Logan that I didn't love him anymore, thinking that you loved me too, she thought bitterly.  
  
"What? Max, let's rewind here for a sec. I'm lost." He said, not letting go of her arm.  
  
"Don't you get it? I chose you. I chose you instead of Logan. He and I are fine now but I still came back to you." She said firmly, looking at him with hurt written all over her face. "And you're still not happy."  
  
It took him a second to realize what she had just said. "But-"  
  
"No, it's okay, Alec. You don't have to explain. I understand if you don't feel the same way." She cut him off, yanking her arm away from him and walking away.  
  
"I'm not going to explain anything, Max but why are you making this so difficult?" He called after her.  
  
Max stopped abruptly. "I'm not making it difficult Alec." She said stiffly, not looking at him.  
  
"Yes, you are. You know how I feel. I've just been waiting for you to accept it and tell me about how you feel." He insisted. Alec sighed. He wasn't good at heart to hearts and personally, he hated having to talk about his feelings with anyone, even Max.  
  
"Then why didn't you look happy?" She asked.  
  
"I don't know. Shocked I guess. I just thought that you already picked Logan."  
  
"Well, I didn't. You should know that by now. You should know that I would have picked you anyway." She said firmly, sounding rather hurt that he didn't even believe that she loved him.  
  
"I don't know a lot of things Max." He said. "Maybe you shouldn't expect so much from me."  
  
"I'm not expecting anything from you." Max lied.  
  
"Oh." He said.  
  
"Alec, what is happening to us?" She asked, sounding frustrated.  
  
She was sick of this.  
  
She was tired of hiding her feelings. She loved him. She knew that.  
  
Max wanted Alec to know that too.  
  
"I don't know." Alec answered looking away. "All I know is how I feel. I love you. And I think you know that too." He declared. "I have loved you for the longest time but I couldn't admit it because..I wasn't used to loving anyone." Alec said, shifting his weight form one foot to another.  
  
"What about Rachel?" Max asked quietly.  
  
"I loved her but that was different. She was innocent. Different from me. From us-our kind, Max." He explained.  
  
Max nodded. They had so much in common it was almost eerie. They shared a lot, whether they knew it or not.  
  
Silence fell between them. Max was lost in her thoughts and Alec was waiting for her to say something.  
  
"I love you too. There. I said it." She whispered before darting away from him. She didn't want to explain it. She couldn't.  
  
She loved him-plain and simple.  
  
As much as she wanted to make sense of her feelings, she couldn't. They were just there, day and night, gnawing at her.  
  
And Max wanted to keep it there forever.  
  
"Oh no, you are not running from me." He said blurring and in a matter of seconds, Alec was in front of her blocking her exit.  
  
"Get out of the way, Alec." She said firmly.  
  
"Why?" He demanded.  
  
"Because I want to leave." She declared.  
  
"Well, you're not leaving. You're staying here and we're fixing this." He said pulling her from the doorway and making her sit.  
  
"There's nothing to fix." She insisted.  
  
Alec sighed exasperatedly. "I really hate it when you do that." He said.  
  
"Do what?" Max asked innocently, honestly not knowing what the hell he was talking about.  
  
"When you just leave because you're not comfortable. Well, sorry to break it to you Max, but you're staying, like it or not and I don't care if you're not comfortable with this. We're getting this over with tonight." He said rather harshly that Max was a little shaken by his words.  
  
A few minutes ago, he hadn't wanted to talk to her to even see her. But now, it was all different. Now that he knew how she really felt, he wanted to make it work so badly. All they've really had were complications but he loved her and she felt the same. That changed everything and even the most complicated things seemed so easy now knowing what he did.  
  
"I told you how I felt Alec." She argued. "Isn't that good enough?"  
  
"No, Max, actually it's not." He replied and she looked shocked. "I love you beyond belief, but you're always running from me, even when you know how you feel about me already. You make it so difficult that sometimes, I think hating you would be easier than loving you." Alec declared. He kept her hand between his, refusing to let her go.  
  
Max's stiff hand relaxed and she intertwined her fingers with Alec's. "I'm just not used to this." She sighed. It was her way of telling him that she was scared and that had taken a lot of her strength to say it.  
  
Fear had been her driving force in her life. It was what made her do all the things that she did.  
  
It made her strong.  
  
Love was something she was unaccustomed to. Love got you hurt. Got you killed. It distracted you from what was important which was to survive.  
  
She was supposed to be always brave and strong and never weak but Alec made her feel a lot of things and it scared her.  
  
To some people, love may be the most wonderful thing in the world, but to Max, it was another being itself: alive, uncontrollable and unpredictable; everything that Max wasn't taught to handle.  
  
She wanted to tell him that she was scared that if she let her guard down, the world that she tried so hard to preserve will somehow crumble and she won't be able to save it; scared that if she let herself really love him, she'd lose him too like she lost everyone else. Alec was the only one left out of everyone that she loved. If she lost him, Max didn't know if she had any courage left to go on.  
  
But she didn't tell him. Somehow, Alec knew all that already. He felt them too.  
  
"I know." He said pulling her closer to him and hugging her. He held her like that for the longest time, letting Max let go of all the emotions that she had been holding back.  
  
She cried because she was scared and happy and relieved; she was many things. It didn't matter anymore. Whatever fear or uncertainty she might feel, she wouldn't have to carry the burden alone.  
  
She had Alec by her side.  
  
He had always been there, making the heavy weight of the world on her shoulders less painful. He had always stood by her side, waiting for her; for the moment that she'd finally see him for who he was and who he wasn't.  
  
He was Alec. Her Alec.  
  
She loved him. Really loved him, and Max was thankful to whatever force that brought them together, even if it was Manticore.  
  
"It's okay, baby. I'm here." He said as he kissed her hair, stroking her back gently.  
  
"I know." Max whispered, knowing that she could depend on him forever and he would never leave her side.  
  
Their world was not perfect and neither were they but Max could accept that now.  
  
"I love you." She said as she kissed him softly.  
  
She had made her peace with Ben and his death. She had let go of her guilt, of whatever it was that stopped her from loving Alec. And she had said good bye to Logan, to whatever past they may have shared.  
  
And now, she was finally going to have the happiness that she had long wanted but couldn't have.  
  
She was going to be happy. With Alec, of course. 


	12. a little note to the ppl who want this s...

A/N: Here's the deal guys. Chapter eleven was supposed to be the ending but since you guys think that I should put more I will. The problem is I have no idea what to write. Well, maybe I do but I won't say what it is. Depends on whether I continue this or not. If you read Mixed Blessings and No Greater Love you'll probably figure it out. Anyway, give me ideas real fast and I'll give you what you want. Thanks for reading and review please. 


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